Our podcast series on conflict continues with Episode 02, as Zach teaches Laura all about skydiving and the two most important rules once you leave the plane and gravity takes over. They discuss different ways that couples can de-escalate and repair in the midst of conflict, and they test out a new slogan for the podcast.
Check out Episode 02 of Marriage Therapy Radio below and learn strategies for managing your conflict.
Pull the ripcord. Find your way out of the churn of the moment and getting to a place of quiet reflection.
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Time Stamped Show Notes:
- 02:47 – I like to talk to couples about sky-diving.
- 03:39 – Pulling the ripcord when solo diving is called “saving your own life”.
- 04:10 – There are only two rules to sky diving: 1) pull the ripcord, and 2) don’t look at the barn (you’ll just have to listen).
- 06:41 – Similarly, couples need to have two primary skills in the midst of conflict.
- 06:55 – An episode of escalating conflict is a lot like jumping out of the plane. It’s loud. There’s lots of pressure. You can’t quite think clearly. And it’s not going to end well unless you take decisive action.
- 07:17 – When grappling with conflict, your #1 responsibility is to: pull the ripcord. You need to have a way to stop the roar, the pressure, the danger of free falling. After you’ve done that, once you’re gliding down under an open chute, that’s where you find the quiet and calm. It’s where you have time to look around from a new perspective.
- 07:47 – A story of one couples creative ripcord strategy.
- 08:47 – Once the quiet is re-established, your next responsibility is to: focus on your landing. We are drawn to what we focus on. If you focus on the negative (i.e. the barn), you’re going to hit it. Instead, look at the thing you both want.
- 09:55 – Key takeaways…